At Chai Latte Diaries, a man belittles a woman for a reality entirely out of her hands, and she is beginning to internalize the gender-specific nonsense with which women must grapple on a daily basis: Any man who shies away from these characteristics, requiring instead a Damsel in Distress, is not the man for you. Not to mention, it’s not 1932 and this sort of thinking is antiquated and detrimental to both men and women.
Maybe more importantly is that this perspective is unsophisticated, because a potential partner should not only see these as strengths, but also be curious enough to wonder whether, just because you are these things, you maybe no longer want to carry either as they are heavy burdens when imposed (not by choice) upon our shoulders.
The love and support which your father should have given you was NEVER contingent on anything other than your coming into this world. The moment that your mother gave birth to you was the moment that your father should have stood like a lion by your side for all days to come.
You didn’t need to earn it, or negotiate it, or ask for it – it was yours for the taking from day one.
That your father did not give it to you in the ONLY WAY HE SHOULD HAVE, is NOT your burden to carry. This is NOT your fault today. This was NEVER your fault. You are not at fault, my Love.
[…] don’t be ashamed that your father did not give you one of the most critical gifts a father needs to give his daughter freely and daily. Don’t internalize that which was beyond your control, and don’t stigmatize that with which so many broken hearts must contend. Instead, face it head on, own it and dismantle it (please see this week’s video for more on this). Love that it is a part of the fabric which made you the incredible woman you are today, while disarming it because this disarmament will equally contribute to the even stronger woman you will be when all of the road-work is complete.
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