A woman has been taking contraceptives behind her husband’s back. Wow. She’s come to me to ask WHAT? (I all-too-often honestly don’t understand how people function.)

That you don’t want to have children is a fact that you simply ought not lie about, and he may surprise you. But in order for you to give him the chance to surprise you, you need to talk to him about this and express your feelings and desires, and ultimately fears of what having a child may do to your relationship. […]

He deserves to know that his sperm is playing offense on a losing team, because the flip-side of this would have been that you wanted to get pregnant, but he was still crushing and placing into your morning juice a birth control pill without your knowledge. Imagine? Imagine how betrayed and manipulated you would feel?

As per your not wanting to have children because you fear that your relationship will change. Of course it will; this is an inevitable reality. In related news, your relationship will change even if you *don’t* have children. Unless you’re made from plastic. With children, things can’t but change when your man has to wrestle his own seedling to get at you.

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