I love having guests.

As equally, I hate being idle. I get too much into my head when I’m busy; it’s a recipe for disaster when I’m idle. To no one’s surprise, I struggle with just being. Because Type A.

There was The February Sitch which left me no room for idle. After that, all of my energy went to undoing the toxic energy in which I was forced to stew for weeks. After that dust settled, and I found quiet, I remembered how I don’t like quiet. Something I’ve known would be a challenge throughout the sabbatical, it comes and goes in waves – this ability to be still, and to appreciate the stillness – its tide is presently out. So I am having to get doing.

I just have to figure out what that doing might be, because it has to be physical, and may be as simple as getting back into the gym, but going hard because I have so much time and space. I’ve noticed that there’s been an unwelcome tension in my body that I have to expend. Two hours of walking today and yesterday helped a little, but it isn’t nearly enough. (And while I love warm summer walks in the rain, I do not like them in the cold and windy torrential pours, which is what Ottawa has been since I came home. It’s looking like swimming, rather than walking, may be the preferred travel means this Ottawa summer.)

Ahead of me is one nice day, then four days of cold rain. Send me your ideas on things to do in such weather, please and thank you.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Art. I have been working on one piece since home, and will share progress eventually. If any of you know of an art studio where I might go and work, like a collective of sorts, please inbox me.
2. Having received information about flooring and cabinets for momma’s. Two steps forward. Hurrah!
3. Going to the actual movies at the theater. Until they deleted the two independent and smaller-sized-when-compared-to-the-newer-jumbotron-screens movie theaters downtown, I used to go alone every Friday after work. I miss this; I still appreciate it so much. Please come back.

Ottawa | June 11, 2019

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