This photo might lead you to believe that behind this door are things calm and gentle and hippie-ish, as the heart suggest. Total lies.

I have been to three cafés in the last as many days, each at 9 am. At all, the music they were playing was loud, and noxious. Like proper noxious at any time before 8 pm unless you’ve been awake since the day before and are just leaving the rave. (Do people still ‘rave’ or is it called something else now?)

Rave. So close to the word rage, isn’t it?

Tell me something. What do you do with your ragey energy? Some people unload on twitter, others unload on loved ones or strangers. Sometimes, people paint their feelings.

I write around it, usually after I rage about it with any number of my few very trusted beloveds.

Like right now, the thing about which I might rage is because I have seen the true colours of a person, and want their trickster ways to be uncovered for all to see. I find it suffocating that people can go through this life completely lying about who they are (to humans, but not to Allah, obvs), without consequence (yet). Though, of course, the consequences in the next world are way more terrifying, my body seizes just thinking about it.

You know what calms me? Islam.

Lying in Islam – falsehood of any kind, in fact – is one of the greater sins, and is considered inverse to Belief. The consequences in the next world are straight-up terrifying and stomach-turning. This knowledge calms me when I look at a lying liar who lies and all I want to do is scream into some kind of abyss about the injustice of it all.

Hi Tr*mp.

But I’m not in fact talking about the big liars like him. I’m talking about the little termites who eat away at things quietly with each lie, falsehood, and misrepresentation they willfully make.

Bringing me to my final point, also rooted in Islam – we don’t believe that the devil makes us commit sin. We believe that committing sin is the first step by which we invite the devil into our lives. This is a subtle, but critical difference, because Islam ain’t lettin’ anyone get away from their very real and direct responsibility for their shithead choices.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Cafés that slow roll us into our mornings.
2. Not having come into contact with a trickster since over a year now. Hurrah!
3. That I can type as fast as I can think. Highly helpful when I am raging and my mind is firing off in a million and one directions, and I have no where to yell and no thing which I want to smash. Happy Wednesday, y’all.

Ottawa | Day 285 | September 11, 2019

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