We spent the day in Banff celebrating Canada Day, and I can’t stop taking fisheye lens photographs (thanks, Lolo!). Because it’s not an actual lens, but rather how you take the photo. When taking one of these photos, I look like I am a hyper-active and over-reaching hula dashboard doll. Let me explain. First, I must focus my camera on the center of the thing which I want to photograph so that this happens –

My mission, should I choose to accept it, then becomes to move my camera to every one of the 37 dots, and place the dot in the center of the ring (presently around the center dot in the above image). It’s like a carnival game.

Where you always lose. But not before you throw a hip or two.

I stand in one spot, and swivel as tightly as possible all around me while pointing my camera and most definitely making faces because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY. On top of which, and because I am presently with others, I am usually rushing so that I don’t fall too behind, and rushing makes me miss targets, and so I have to go back, and swivel faster to find the dot that I missed because when you hit all 37 targets, a fat lady sings and my phone throws up confetti and streamers all over me how else am I to know I completed my quest?

It can take upwards of two minutes, which is a very long time in today’s stop-n-snap world. People stare. One little girl, I am certain, started crying.

If I go missing, please look for me in the shops. I’ll be trying on grass hula skirts.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Having had the means and opportunity to receive an education.
2. The on-going action of constantly seeking knowledge.
3. Time. Even though I don’t understand how it functions.

Lethbridge | Day 213 | July 1, 2019

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