Isn’t he the CUTEST? I found him hidden between the flowers and bushes and he is the tiniest little gnome around. I imagine he gets peed on a lot, poor thing. (By animals, not humans. Though, who knows…)

We slipped into a conversation about who we were, and how unrecognizable these women are today. (With my friend, not with the gnome.)

There were the women before May of 2018.
The ones since.

Complete strangers. In looking at these women, they are so far removed from who I am today, that I find them difficult to understand. Especially the one I lived from the summer of 2017 until the summer of 2018; she appears to have had a lightness which, I’m sure she didn’t, because I know me. I am filled with excitement, but heavy with a burden made wholly of this dunya (explicable to all, but accessible only to those who might believe in the Muslim perspective on it, in comparison with the afterlife). Back to the lightness, which she definitely appeared to have; it isn’t one which I have really felt since; odd this, since I have only had balance and calm for months, and so should feel light, though I don’t.

My friend also felt the same way; there are so many women, past iterations of herself whom she no longer recognizes. I couldn’t help but wonder what this conversation will look like when we are 80. Will we continue to shape-shift?

Really, there is no judgment here. Only a curiosity about the progression of our lives, and how radically we shift.

Let me know if you feel this same way, and what your impressions are, please. (I very much appreciated all of the personal messages sent yesterday and today as response to The I Am Moments Away piece.)

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Quiet time.
2. Listening to music as I am having my morning coffee.
3. Snacks. You are so good; I love you very much in my belly.

Ottawa | Day 283 | September 9, 2019

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