We each have a learning style. Mine, I am exactly equal parts visual, and tactile. (Auditory learning only works sometimes and in very particular situations.)

Meaning that first, I learn by doing, by breaking things down and understanding them with my own words and re-stating them in these (my) words. It’s absolutely best when I make mistakes because I am then forced to undo the thing, learn the why of the mistake, and then redo it until the logic of the correct way lays roots in my brain.

I chart a lot; it’s apparently part of both tactile and visual learning. It’s easier for me to remember what things are, based on how I’ve placed them visually. And, I write things down repeatedly, then I erase them, and write them down again. Over and over and over.

Regarding the visual, and because I am complete shit at memory work, I animate a story in my brain and mark the words down in the story. For example – ‘I opened the door to discover he was suffering, so I offered him coverage.’ (If anyone can figure out to which rule these verbs adhere in French, I will send you a box of cookies. Anywhere in the world. Promise.)

Not surprising, I can’t learn a thing if you just tell me about it. But I can learn it if I ask you a question and you respond; because for me to ask the question, it means I had to undo the thing, see. A prof at the front of any class won’t do shit for me. I have to read it, highlight it, go over it, write it down, colour it, perform an interpretive dance to it, and then consider it knowledge acquired.

Basically, I can’t be told a thing and simply ‘get it’.

<Scribble. Scribble. Scribble. Mistake. So many mistakes. Scribble. Chart. Stare. Colour. Undo. Redo. Scribble. Mistake. Chart. Redo. Undo.>

Then.

I take an eraser, and with the absolute greatest enthusiasm and pleasure, erase it. OCD enthusiasm until I have a fresh page.

Sound familiar?

Which, when I lay it out like that, it seems to suggest that ‘the process of being alive’ is in fact synonymous with ‘the process of learning’.

This, I dig. So much.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Music. I realised that so much of my thanks is for specific pieces, so though to umbrella for now and be grateful for it all.
2. Whatever Allah has in store for me.
3. Also a curse, but today it’s with gratitude that I turn an eye toward my ability to laser-focus.

Montreal | Day 289 | September 15, 2019

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