We made it to Sandia Peak, where I watched a man propose. As soon as we saw them, I’d said to Jennifer that he was going to propose. It was all over him.

When I congratulated them, he explained how nervous he’d been. It was sweet, and I am all for people in love. I am more for people in love, eyes wide open however, a critical difference.

Being a hopeless romantic isn’t what people think it is – this assumption of naïveté. Rather it is to go in eyes wide open knowing that you have work to do everyday. It’s not getting lazy, and it’s not taking your lover for granted, it’s speaking their love language and it’s being their safest space. Most critical, it is being their most trusted friend, and serving as theirs. Trust trust trust, nothing works without this, how do people not understand this by now?

Sometimes, it’s the recognition and acceptance that their peace isn’t within your hands, and that’s okay too. Always, and as I’ve written in the past, it’s that we have a responsibility to love people freely, and with open arms. There are a myriad ways to love, and only one of them is romantic; in this, there is much grace.

I’d been dreaming of a white band for a while. So white that it was almost glowing. Though it was never on my hand, it always stuck out in my dreams. For myself, I’d been looking for an agate stone for some time, too. Here in New Mexico, I found both. The ring is a handmade Night n Morning design, and I had the pleasure of meeting the designing team.

Agate, as I wrote earlier, is believed to help “calm the temper, protect against difficulties, helps lessen sorrow, bring luck when travelling and strengthens concentration among other qualities.” It was the stone worn by our Prophet.

I’d also been looking for a particular small-stoned turquoise (properties of interest for me are increased intuition, calm, and protection) silver bracelet which I found as we were walking in Santa Fe. Lost to another, it became my rizq, and I’ve not taken either the ring or the bracelet off since.
These bracelets are $200 US but the universe left it at my feet; just like I lost my pendant some time ago while running, I couldn’t sweat it because what is meant for another will always be received by them when the universe demands it.

On the surface, rizq in Islam translates to sustenance in English. But when we speak of rizq, we are referring to sustenance which is monetary, emotional, physical, and certainly spiritual. No one receives more than to the gram of what was written for them. The rizq accompanying my pendant had ended, and its rizq for another had begun. I can’t argue with that, but rather be grateful for my time with it and hope that the individual who found it understood it’s worth.

Love and connection are rizq.

Jenn and I have sewn conversation about Estevan (the older hermano of Hermanos Guttiérez) since Saturday. We don’t generally have the same taste in men, but we both agree that this man is pure sex. She’s in a relationship; I am someone who abstains until I know that it is neither limerence nor just flat-out stupidity.

Sidebar: I am very cautious with men; always have been. I don’t take my feelings lightly, and I listen very carefully to my heart. So when a man shows up on my radar, and while I’m extremely transparent with my feelings, I need to see what they’ll do with my heart – will they respect, protect and cherish it, or will they manipulate it in service of their own needs? So really, I test men. I wait and watch and wait some more, while my heart sits on my sleeve out in the open.

Back to Estevan. Pure sex. And, something I want. I want this heat rolling off of this man into my world (I obviously don’t mean him actually). I refuse anything less, so this is a manifest. I’m excited for what’s around the corner inshAllah.

Like the bracelet. Like the ring.

Like me saying to Jennifer it would be nice to meet someone at Sandia Peak who’d offer to drive us home because it might take us two hours to get an Uber. And that’s exactly what happened. Thank you Posi; you are a living manifest, wholesome to your core. I wish you’d have let us buy you dinner, but appreciate exponentially that conversation was all you wanted for the 40 minute drive. You are forever one of our favourite memories from this trip, and I hope you enjoyed your heavy metal concert and got to “step on some kids”. ❤️

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