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Are you a glass half full or empty kind of person? I imagine if you’ve lived here for long enough, you must be a glass half full, or you’re hoping you will be.

I am all hope-full. Always have been. Like, annoyingly so, since I could say and do and think and choose.

I don’t believe that there’s any catastrophe from which we can’t learn, or from which we can’t recover. More to my tune is that every single disaster is an opportunity for something truly far greater.

From every heart-pain, and after every closed door, from every single harm done to us at the hands of another and at the tips of our own jagged fingernails, is the opportunity to choose better. The option to turn that sour of a lemon into lemonade and where that’s not possible, to dip the lemon into salt to unearth an even richer treasure of flavour.

Evening chats by the fireplace were focussed here. As mentioned just yesterday, it was bad choice after bad choice after bad choice that were made over the years. Upheaval and devastation, which may have caused an inter-generational blast radius. Decisions made because of existing inter-generational trauma that had not been healed.

It is this complete destruction which has finally forced their hand to seek spaces where they might begin to heal both their past, their present, and inshallah their future.

Unlike for us Scorpio moons and Scorpio risings who thrive on the madness of change, change is not an easy thing for most. In this situation the choice was either continued self-immolation or reaching for peace.

We have lived our lives at different ends of the spectrum, and we have never judged the other for it. If anything, our choices are such polar opposites that there has never been room for discord, but rather only a curiosity about the ways of one another and what we might learn through the experiences of the other.

Whereas my choices have made of my body a fortress which practically none can reach, theirs have been the opposite. Lost men have gone hunting across her landscapes in search of themselves, and to her devastation. I refuse men entry until they have shown me that they are elevating themselves high enough that they might dream to access any part of this heaven.

She wishes she had done it differently. She wishes she had done it more like me, that she’d demanded more of men before she gave so much of herself to their hands. She is gentle with her words, as am I when speaking of her past choices. I too have wished she had been more discerning, but.

But but but, I believe that had she been more discerning, she would have never attained the peace which she has finally found and in which her days will remain. Absolutely not. She would have perhaps not had so much upheaval, but so too would she not have had any of the healing.

Every single thing in her past (equally your past, and also mine) – every bad decision and good decision, drunken fool’s decision, even the picking of low-hanging-fruit – is today an opportunity for better decisions and growth. Especially our sh!t decisions, which we have to believe is manure for the new seeds we’ve chosen to plant. (While making damn certain that we don’t backslide into the sh!t, eh.)

Also, and worth repeating – every additional second we live in dunya is a new opportunity to do better. The questions are whether or not we have enough self-love to lift ourselves from our past mistakes and hurts, and whether we have the courage to stand as witness against our own bad choices and face them in service of a better us. She has all of the courage, and then some.

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Finally. If you’re presently going through it (like all of us, who have and will go through it repeatedly), I’m going to recommend that you go. Through. It. Fully and completely. Don’t numb it or ignore it or suffocate it.

If you do, it will  show up later in worse form, and it will be louder with every new iteration. The lesson, I mean. Because that’s what devastation births – potential for rebirths which, if ignored, the lesson will continue to show herself in different and new and increasingly painful ways.

I think it’s also fair to write that sometimes we go so off course that we are no longer able to see even a hint of the treasure trail back to a more evolved self. If that’s where you find yourself, then let your body lead. In other words, remember that the body really does keep the score.

Look for the choices and the spaces in which your nervous system is at rest, and where no part of you is on alert. Look for the people around whom when you’re ready to completely unfold into your new self, they will receive her with open arms, without judgement and while only looking forward rather than keeping an eye on your past choices.

Meaning, look for the spaces and the people who will allow you to evolve and repattern, rather than those who would demand that you remain stuck in a moment in (their) time. Refuse to be an insect in amber, love. The world needs all of us to come undone, so that we might elevate to higher consciousness.

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