This week, I am asked about the ‘ghosting’ phenomenon; men we’re dating, who then vanish, only to resurface months later as though nothing happened: “[…]when a man vanishes without grace or explanation, that says much about him and nothing about you. It says he has no strength of character to be honest and to have an emotional conversation. Both of these things are strikes against him. (On this, let me make something very clear – ultimately, if someone bails while we are still standing on the field, then should they choose to return, they are the ones who have to perform at 10 x the effort and strength to be given the opportunity to maybe possible potentially be allowed back onto the field. It is not your job to do anything but decide – after the effort expended by them – whether or not you will extend a second chance to this individual.)”

Last week, we talked about 50 Shades of Terrible Writing and Plot Lines: “One word of caution. While you are extremely well-intentioned, please be very careful in how you continue to broach this subject with your friends. No one wants to feel judged. No one wants to be badgered. No one wants to be policed by their friends.

Tread carefully and remember that you are speaking to adults who have the right to choose horrible “literature” and learn the hard way that a relationship – as depicted in these terrible books – is physically and emotionally abusive. Shed light on the alternative path and then let them choose.”

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