I originally wrote the following on Dec 6, 2006. They still hold true today, and I am reminding myself of them as much as I am reminding you of them. A few new ones have been added along for the ride.
.1. Be good to your parents, especially your mama because she’s got God’s ear.
.2. Stop complaining and before you roll out of bed, learn to say ‘alhamdulilah’. It means Thank You God. Even if you don’t know whether or not you believe in Him, just do it.
.3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because this is one of the least attractive characteristics in an individual (I took a recent poll all over the world and 99.9% of the respondents agreed with me). It’s as unattractive as long toenails. Also, see point no. 1 above.
.4. Not everyone you meet in life is going to like you. Deal with it, already. (And if you’ve not figured it out yet, you’re not gonna like everyone you meet either, so stop being so self-centered.)
.5. When you someday have a family of your own, never leave single friends alone during any of the big Holidays. You’re an a**hole if you do and Karma is going to find you alone and crying into your sad single-serving turkey sooner or later.
.6. If you have them, don’t take your human rights for granted. For those of you whose “mood is ruined” when you hear about another People’s pain, you need to smarten the f*ck up immediately. Compassion isn’t a sport, it’s a way of life and if you can’t live it, then you’re some sort of creep.
.7. Stop envying what other people have; Envy is a disease. You don’t have ‘it’ because you weren’t meant to have it or because you didn’t work hard enough to get it. If it’s the former, then you’re better off without it, and if it’s the latter, then shut-up and start planning the ‘how to get it’ phase of your life. Also, see points no 1 & 2 above.
.8. Floss your teeth. Dentures are never sexy.
.9. Remember that nothing is ever “too good to be true.”
.10. Forgive them even when they don’t apologize.
.11. F*ck up every now and then because it’s the only way you’ll learn.
.12. Don’t discuss your intimate dealings with those who don’t tell you theirs because, chances are, they’re just not into that sort of sharing. Give people only as much as they give you in terms of confidential conversation and save yourself a lot of time (much better spent elsewhere).
.13. If you have to hurt someone, find the nicest way possible. See above note about ‘Compassion’.
.14. To the best of your ability, don’t put yourself in a position for which you’ll have to apologize later.
.15. Learn to apologize like a child because they’re among the few who really mean it when they say it.
.16. Do you want something? Then stop f*cking talking about it and start doing what needs to be done in order to get it. I can honestly tell you that there’s never been one thing that I’ve wanted badly and with every part of me that I haven’t eventually had…and that’s not because I sit at home and dream about my potential ‘if only’. (Alhamdulilah.)
.17. Be patient because one day, your time will come and someone won’t have patience to deal with you and you’ll understand what kind of di.k you really were when you ‘just didn’t have the time’.
.18. Be humble and get over yourself, already. You’ll be a lot nicer and that can only be a good thing.
.19. Remember that you’re never the exception to the rule because life will be so much sweeter when you are.
.20. When you love someone, love them unconditionally and without fear.
.21. Say please, thank you, and you’re welcome. Mean it, too.
.22. When someone calls you, or emails you, or texts you, have enough manners to respond you stupid git.
.23. There is a very fine line between compassion and enabling. That line is in fact a loving conversation.
.24. Meet Alex O’Loughlin and give him my number. Please and thank you.
.25. To quote my baby cousin: Do your best, and leave the rest within God’s hands.
12 Comments:
CC said…
1 – 9. I have these well under control. Loving one’s Mom is a no brainer as well as being very easy to do.
10. I’m guilty of not always being forgiving.
11. Ha-ha Are you saying that there are actually people in this world that don’t f**k up on a daily basis?
12 -20. (excluding 17) Sometimes on the edge, but I do try to live by these as well.
17. Yes. Well. Does it count that I know this is my weakest trait and that I work to overcome it daily?
My prayers go with you right now as you work through your heartache. Your missing blogs make me hope that you are well and that whatever has you otherwise occupied will not be overly burdensome. You’re very intelligent so I don’t worry that any situation placed in your path won’t be properly handled.
Wed Dec 06, 10:48:00 AM
Anonymous said…
1 – 9. I have these well under control. Loving one’s Mom is a no brainer as well as being very easy to do.
10. I’m guilty of not always being forgiving.
11. Ha-ha Are you saying that there are actually people in this world that don’t f**k up on a daily basis?
12 -20. (excluding 17) Sometimes on the edge, but I do try to live by these as well.
17. Yes. Well. Does it count that I know this is my weakest trait and that I work to overcome it daily?
My prayers go with you right now as you work through your heartache. Your missing blogs make me hope that you are well and that whatever has you otherwise occupied will not be overly burdensome. You’re very intelligent so I don’t worry that any situation placed in your path won’t be properly handled.
Wed Dec 06, 10:49:00 AM
CC said…
Sorry about the double post Maha. My system burped with and error screen then requested I fill in the word verification again.
Wed Dec 06, 10:54:00 AM
J. said…
Wow. Will you marry me?
I wish I could follow all these. Thanks for the reminder though, they are so easily forgotten.
Wed Dec 06, 04:37:00 PM
Anjum said…
*gasp* Jeanne! you can’t marry her! didn’t I call dibs on you years ago?!
Wed Dec 06, 07:52:00 PM
maria calvo said…
I printed this list up and I photocopied it to make it small size. I kept the original size up in my office and I”m carrying the smaller one in my purse. This is pure genius and I love that you’re a total bitch about it. Speaking of which, where’s Tommy?
AND can I email this shit directly from here? What’s that email button, I’m scared to click it. I’ve had a few drinks tonight.
J YOU CAN’T MARRY HER, I’VE GOT DIBS! I’LL ROLL YOU IN THE PARKING LOT LADY! :oD
maria
Wed Dec 06, 08:57:00 PM
dragonfly said…
Diggin’ your rules
Wed Dec 06, 11:19:00 PM
Colleen said…
I love your line about compassion not being a sport Maha. Like CC says “You’re very intelligent so I don’t worry that any situation placed in your path won’t be properly handled” and you also have my prayers. I will find something about Gerry Butler to make you smile 🙂
Hugs,
Colleen
Thu Dec 07, 11:22:00 AM
Anonymous said…
I love these rules and I’ve sent the link out toeveryone I know. Thank you so much.
Lisa
Fri Dec 08, 12:46:00 PM
Anonymous said…
HAH!!! I have printed this up also! Thanks for the wisdom.
Kyla
Fri Dec 08, 11:40:00 PM
Phantom Lover said…
I really think you should send these to Gerry Butler! They are really funny and great ways to live by! How long have you been compiling them? They’re really good!
Phantom Lover
Sat Dec 09, 03:36:00 PM
just a girl said…
hi CC & welcome! What is your name? Your kind words are…kind…thanks for not thinking I too much of a flake and knowing I will be able to make it through. That’s such a sweet sentiment 🙂
And don’t at all worry about the fact that your machine burped! Come back soon and tell us your name, please.
Also, thanks for your prayers; I’ll take ’em anywhere I can get ’em.
J, consider us betrothed, love.
Anjum, piss off (I love you). You’re already married to Uzi. One Female Canucks need love too 😉
Maria, rule no.21: Do not drink to get drunk on Wednesday evenings, for this may, in the future, make you dependant on said alcohol. Need a drink? Steamed milk with shots of vanilla are EXCITING!
I’m so pleased that you are taking this list to heart, even though your apparent excitement is. a little. creepy. But only a little 😉
That button will allow you to email that particular blog entry to anyone. Go ahead and click it, you’ll be thankful, I promise!
Hi dragonfly! Thank you…I love when you drop in 🙂
Colleen thanks again, and anything about Gerry Butler would be lovely 🙂
Lisa, are you my Lisa Pizza Pie or another? If another, welcome and thanks. Lisa Pizza Pie, if this is you, know that I tried that latte thing you mentioned and fell head over crack in love with it!
Thanks Kyla and welcome.
Phantom Lover, you have a thing for Ghosts?
Thanks and welcome.
Ok, cute advice re Gerry Butler & I have not been “compiling” them, but was in a rather shitty mood and pounded them out that evening in around 20 minutes. Not so hard when one’s pissed and de-stressing 🙂
xox
m
Sat Dec 09, 04:04:00 PM