Baby Sings “WRONG”

May 22, 2012 - Childhood, Music, The Funnies - Tagged: , , , , - 17 comments

This morning I was seated next to a baby bundled up and singing Frère Jacques. (The baby, not I.) My trip into work made me revisit the following High Security Incident that transpired many years ago.

Aged four and while in kindergarten, my teacher had us sing Frère Jacques. When done, she asked me to sing it alone and in front of the whole class.

I remember this as though it were yesterday. I smiled and began while clapping and swaying.

Beaming with pride (because I was the only one who was singled out), I sang at the top of my small not-yet-grown-to-size lungs:
Fray-row Jaack-uh!
Fray-row Jaack-uh!
Vous lay vous!
Vous lay vous!
Suh muh leh mateen-ah!
Suh muh leh mateen-ah!
DING! DANG! DONG!
DING! DANG! DONG!

I remember distinctly because I still sing these exact lines today, also while clapping and swaying like some crack junkie just off a wicked hit.

Teacher asked me to stop singing and told me I was “wrong”, to which I threw my 1 inch fist into the air, palm facing her, and declared “Like hell I am, Teach! ALL POWER TO THE PEOPLE!”, only it came out “why?” and I began to cry, my fat potato head buried in my fat potato hands.

Amidst the great confusion and my young black civil rights tendencies, all other pink, white, olive and brown babies located within the same room followed suit and began to cry with me in solidarity. Babies are far more intuitive and sensitive than adults, by the way. Also, they are bona fide crazy and only by the grace of God do they survive after repeatedly shitting themselves, vomiting all over you, and keeping you up all night for all of the wrong reasons.

Where was I?
Right. The over-emotional one of them – a little Whitie from Poland – ran over and hugged me and sang the song to me, probably in Polish because it sounded angry (I often wonder what’s become of him whose name I can’t remember; he was my bff and on to the freezing cold ground we would place our 2×4 towels side-by-side when it was nap time. Polish would sleep with his hand on my face; I imagine that today he can be found in a basement after dark with a whip in one hand and a bare ass in the other).

Anyway. I was an Arabic baby and we’d arrived in Canada that same year. My mother tongue was Confused Arabic and the Teacher should have recognized that my effort was enough instead of singling me out for a “wrong.”

To my why?, Teacher never responded and I stood dissolved. Until now, I don’t know the proper lyrics to the song and I’ve created an auditory block whereby I don’t understand the proper lyrics even if they’re being shouted directly into my ear. Worse still, the incident is – I am certain – the cause of my mental collapse re lyrical ability, something of which I was reminded this morning.

Nearly 33 years later, I stand by Suh muh leh mateen-ah!, if for no other reason than the empathy shown by the little Polish.

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Aside re children’s songs: I used to sing London bridges falling down, rather than London bridge is falling down. The true lyrics I swear to you, I only discovered while in Dubai this past year when my baby cousin Ahmed sang it to me. I was stunned as I had no idea it was only one bridge rather than all of the London bridges because why sing a song about one when you can sing a song about all?

Yes, the girl in the photo is in fact me. I was looking up at my father, waiting for him to sit down so that we might play chess (the first game I ever learnt). Sharon Stone is completely useless next to me and white cotton frilled panties with matching over-clothes. Thanks, mum!